What are Chrillogs? #Chrillogs are our chronic illness weblogs – our stories of chronic illness as seen through a trauma lens.
I’ve shared my story to offer insights from trauma and nervous system perspectives, such as on my ME/CFS, food intolerances and weight and prediabetes so others might see some of the influences we don’t typically recognize in medicine.
This trauma lens draws on the science of adversity, the broad swath of research from a plethora of specialty areas, and from studies in different chronic diseases. It’s a perspective that helps make sense of symptoms. It’s a paradigm that suggests, even though each one of our stories is unique, that we have more in common than we’ve thought. It’s a perspective that explains how the effects of adversity are not psychological.
Next to come are YOUR stories.
I call these #Chrillogs.
#Chrillogs explore common themes: Different categories of adversity that played a role in YOUR ME/CFS or other chronic illnesses. How understanding trauma helps YOU feel less fear or worry when symptoms spike or you experience side effects from something you do or try. The tools YOU use to stabilize or soften or heal your symptoms or flares. How YOU experience that being sick is neither your fault nor even your body’s fault.
By speaking up and being more visible each of our stories validates the journey for others. It helps us all realize we are not alone. It connects us as a tribe.
By speaking out our stories help others acknowledge the depth of work that is possible. It offers examples of ways to help our bodies shift and heal, even if it’s not a “cure” (even as that happens too).
We are so much more than our illnesses. Even as we have also been shaped and molded by these life-altering adventures we would never have consciously chosen.
#Chrillogs are why I share the research. Because knowledge can be life-changing. It can show us new and more accepting ways of relating to our bodies, being with our tender feelings, and of connecting with ourselves, quirks and all.
Some authors will use their real names and locations. Others will use an assumed name and place where the live to protect their privacy.
If you’re thinking about sharing your story, know that you don’t have to be cured or even “better,” it’s about how the trauma lens helps you. Send me an email and we’ll explore it together.
Developmental Trauma, Relationship Trauma and Trauma through a cult…
I sure score high on the ACEs.
Recently I took tests on this site: Reading/Listening to this book now – I have been working with a SOMATIC EXPERIENCE practitioner for quite a while over Skype.
But because of my multiple traumas I still have a lot of work to do, apparently.
I thought I was better of, but when I read Janina Fisher’s book on The Fragmented SELF of Trauma Survivors, I realized, I have still a lot of fragmented parts that are not integrated.
I get triggered a lot and then one of those parts takes over and runs the show.
In my opinion, SE IS one of the best approaches there is to Trauma.
But now I work with a Cranio Sacral Practitioner, who is specialized in Trauma Nervous System work with Autistics, in person…
In this book they have a quiz too – thought I’d share it here, so you can check yourself, where on the scale you are.
TAKING YOUR ASSESSMENT
https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/5cfaac13ed10a600145ce0a7
These assessments are designed to help you learn more about your mental and emotional health and gain a clearer understanding of how your nervous system is currently functioning.
These assessments are a guide to help you become more attuned to yourself on a sensory level.
From there, you can gain a better understanding of how your nervous system is currently functioning and take the steps needed to achieve your own healing journey.
I had a score of 101
ASSESSMENT RESULT: 101-125 = VERY HIGH TRAUMA SYMPTOMS
This score means you have a very high level of trauma symptoms at this present time.
This may mean you have experienced a lot of traumatic events in your past, had a very difficult childhood and/or you tend to react more strongly to traumatic experiences.
I had a burnout in 2007 while still in the cult, and this was the final trigger. From then on I was exercise intolerant, meaning, I got migraines, fibromyalgia like pain in arms and legs, extreme fatigue, irritability or depression, back pain etc, whenever I did too much physically, so I stopped running and all.
It turns out, this was actually my Mast Cells overreacting.
I developed food intolerances, dairy allergies, and what is called histamine intolerance from then on.
I have switched to an all meat way of eating in 2019 because all the other diets just really did not work.
And this approach reversed at least the massive chronic pain issues I had since 2018 (back pain and hip, joints and regular migraines, it was bad, also due to nutrient deficiency from 4 years of veganism)
At least I got a grip on this histamine intolerance, when I realized what it was, and I started taking DIAMINE OXYDASE for the histamine intolerance.
Because I have the MTHFR Mutation I also take Folate B9, B6, B12, Omega 3, VITamine D3/K2 and Thiamine Megadose (based on Dr. Derrick Lonsdale’s research)
So my anxiety has since then reduced a bit, and the hyperacusis and Misophonia are way less pronounced.
As a newly diagnosed autistic (August 2020, age 46) I finally got the confirmation why many things stressed me more than other people, and why socializing for me is really difficult and this will not change.
So my approach is also to really avoid stress at all costs.
However, I still need to work on the trauma issue, so that fight/flight/freeze get triggered less.
Work in progress.
Thanks for sharing some of your story Ayani. I love SE too and it sounds like you are implementing a lot of great tools, from Janina Fisher’s book and survey that helps clarify how your ANS is working in relation to trauma responses and sensitivity, to the craniosacral and SE, and to your meat only diet, which was super helpful for me as well and more :-). It is a work in progress indeed!! Wishing you well on this journey. xoxo