Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP) Jane Strong shared the working images in this post so I could show you what so often goes unseen in chronic illness and survival states. Jane is co-founder and co-director of The Equus Effect in Connecticut, a non-profit organization that provides practical tools for mental and emotional well-being to men and women who live and work in high stress environments. I heard her present about this work with her co-founder and co-director David Sonatore, SEP, LCSW at the Somatic Experiencing Conference a year ago and was blown away. Jane took the time to meet with me on zoom to further describe their approach and has contributed significantly to the content, clarity and educational information in this blog post on working with horses.
You can download the free PDF at the bottom of this page.
Introduction
Years ago when my physical symptoms of chronic fatigue were much more severe and I had difficulty taking a shower, walking, or running errands due to pervasive exhaustion, I frequently had periods of time when I thought I was feeling “normal” and emotionally regulated but was actually disconnected from underlying feelings of grief, fear or anger. It was from healing through somatic trauma therapy sessions, and insights I gained as a result of my husband David’s awareness and gentle comments to me, that I gradually gained the ability to tell when I was “dissociated” and numb to these underlying feelings. Then I could slow down, pay attention, and explore what was going on “underneath.” I could work with my chronic illness and survival states. I could make space for the grief, or the rage or the fear – and let it move through me. Over time, this has become much easier. And although I’m still working with it all, I’m doing so much better than I was back then.
Reconnecting to feelings without becoming overwhelmed is a natural effect of healing unresolved trauma and reducing patterns of overwhelm that are linked to past events. This is part of how my own health has improved: My body is less caught in states of freeze that numb out the emotions and that also link to frozen survival states in the physical and biological realm.
Working with trauma-informed practitioners who are skilled with horses is one approach that can help us and our bodies process old states of survival we may be caught in.
This post introduces how working with horses can highlight the invisible feelings and survival states that so many of us who are addressing old trauma don’t realize we have. A practical tip I want to name is that becoming AWARE of the feelings we have makes a difference.
We invite those of you reading this who have experience working with horses, whether as a client or as a health professional, to comment further and share any additional thoughts and insights.
When the Inside Differs from the Outside
Jane explains that horses understand emotions such as anger, sadness, and fear when they are expressed directly – when the inside matches the outside. They get confused, however, when we try to hide fear, anger or vulnerability beneath a calm exterior.
A horse does not believe the words, ‘I’m fine’ if we are not. To them, this is a reminder of predators who mask their intentions by moving slowly or remaining still while covering up the adrenaline they need to take down their prey. This is hard-wired into horses who are themselves, prey animals. In nature, their inclination to flee, stay in herds and remain vigilant to the intentions of anything in their environments comes from this genetic code.
When we “disconnect from our bodies” in states of freeze, horses sense the adrenaline beneath as cause for concern. They can express this by fidgeting, moving away or in this case, bucking, rearing and running. This matches the inner turmoil we are trying to hide.
The pictures in this section are of Andrea, a veteran who spent the first 3 weeks in The Equus Effect program with a horse named Tango, getting to know one another and quietly connecting and collaborating. On the last day of the 16-hour curriculum, Jane asked Andrea if she’d like to go into the round pen with Tango and see if she could connect and move him ‘at liberty’, with no halter or lead rope. Andrea said she wanted to try this. Jane was also there, holding space and ensuring safety. It soon became apparent however, that the experience of having no control put Andrea into a state of freeze. Her body stiffened, she stared straight ahead and stopped moving.
Jane observed that Tango started bucking and charging around the pen, trying to get away from this woman with whom he had shared a great deal of trust. In his eyes, Andrea’s inner state belied the same adrenaline and cortisol a lion or pack of wolves would be displaying if they were in their natural environments. As prey animals, horses know that things can change in the blink of an eye, and they respond according to how they perceive anyone or anything in that moment.
Jane asked Andrea if she was ok and suggested that Andrea step a little closer to her to feel safer. She knew that there was no actual threat from Tango in the pen because his intention was to get away from this source of inconguence, which is part of what Jane tracks and works with in this process.
Feelings can Emerge with Enough Safety
Once Andrea had stepped closer to Jane, Jane gently asked her again if she was ok.
That’s when Andrea started crying.
The very second that she did, her internal and external states became congruent, and Tango stopped.
Horses are always in the present. As animals who are preyed upon in nature, they are committed to exactly what is happening right now, and respond accordingly, So the second Andrea’s actions – her tears – matched her inner state, Tango perceived that she was no longer dangerous. The only time a horse will actually dissociate is when they are trapped and about to be killed or have learned to disconnect from pain or abusive situations. Otherwise, their ability to attune is uncanny because if they make a mistake about the intentions of those around them, they could well be dinner.
Horses base their relationships with us on trust, rather than the loyalty we associate with our canine companions. Since humans are both predators and prey, we share this sense of mistrust when something feels ‘off’ but have either been socialized out of reacting to this instinctive mistrust of incongruence or trained to override it. Consequently, the energy we would use to survive gets trapped in our systems and we shut down, get sick, withdraw, feel exhausted and can repeatedly tell stories about ourselves and the world that result from both incongruence in others and in ourselves.
After Andrea had started crying and Tango stopped moving, Jane asked Andrea to put her hand out. Tango came right over to her with the look of curiosity and concern seen below. Perhaps he was responding to the bond that had developed between them in the previous few weeks, although most likely, he was just glad to feel safe enough to resume their relationship. THAT is being 100% present.
A moment later, they both took great breaths of relief and walked off together as if they had known each other for lifetimes.
Connection is Possible when we are Embodied
In the image above, Tango approaches Andrea with care and concern because he feels safe with her.
From a trauma and nervous system perspective, healing involves turning off old survival signals that are no longer accurate and that are no longer needed if we are indeed safe in the present moment. This can look like allowing releases to happen such as letting tears of grief or tears related to fear to emerge (ie: making room for feelings). The shaking or trembling in our bodies that can happen right after an intensely stressful situation, or feeling the sensations of heat arising in our bodies after we move through and complete something related to a hugely challenging experience are examples of ways in which our bodies discharge tension or adrenaline-based states.
These are also a few ways in which our bodies give our brains the signal that we have survived an event or series of events – and that it is over. This is how we chip away at symptoms that are influenced by survival states that have gotten stuck.
After this experience of coming back into contact with Tango, Andrea asked Jane for a plant-cutting that she could grow at home. Jane observed that this might be a symbol of Andrea’s desire to bring new life into her world. Jane noted other changes in Andrea, including a much more upright posture and eyes that looked out rather than down. From her years of experience, Jane said she was thrilled that Andrea would now be far less likely to attract other human predators in the future.
Realizing we’re in States of Adrenaline is Enough
Andy was a sniper or sharp shooter in the Marine who came to work with Jane at The Equus Effect. His military training had included a strong emphasis on not showing emotions or any external signs of stress as crucial for his success and survival.
In one session with a horse named Dutch, the same thing happened as happened with Andrea. Dutch charged around the pen in alarm while Andy stood perfectly still
Jane watched Andy and Dutch, knowing that his calm, confident posture did not match what was going on inside because of Dutch’s reaction. Clearly, something else was up with Andy and that something was more than likely adrenaline. She asked him, “Do you think you might be running some adrenaline, Andy? His initial response was ‘No, I’m fine.’
Realizing the Emotional State we’re in is Enough
When Andy realized that he did indeed feel a lot of adrenaline in his system, Dutch immediately stopped, turned to him and joined Andy as they walked off together around the pen with no lead line or halter. Dutch chose to be with this powerful man because his congruence made him a safe, trustworthy leader.
For many people, whether military veteran, first responder, or anyone else, it may have been important to be hypervigilant or learn to hide feelings of anger or fear in order to stay safe and to optimize chances of survival. Over time, however, and with reinforcement from repeated experiences of having to hide or obscure certain feelings, we can forget that we are actively doing so. Or, our systems may actively disconnect us from these feelings by going into freeze when the feelings are overwhelming.
If, for example, you experienced rage toward a threatening parent as child, and it was not safe to express or even show that anger, your body and nervous system may have eventually buried and suppressed the feelings to the point where they became invisible to you. This kind of experience could result in your body being caught in a survival state of “fight” that lived beneath the surface, outside of your awareness. The state is a form of dissociation and disconnection from our bodies. It is a state of incongruence.
Coming back into connection with these feelings, in safe environments with sufficient support such as with an attuned trauma-informed practitioner or someone with whom you have a deep and safe connection, can enable action and impulses or sensations to arise that enable you, and the state, to shift out of survival mode.
Nothing to “Fix”
An interesting aspect of the The Equus Effect program that Jane described to me is that there is nothing to “fix.”
As long as Andy is hiding his own fear, Dutch acts this out.
The act of simply RECOGNIZING what we are feeling, in and of itself, is a crucial step toward reconnecting with ourselves and our bodies.
It’s a step out of freeze.
As such, it’s a step back towards life and towards feelings of aliveness.
Horses recognize these states of congruence and will usually read them as safe and trustworthy. Horses are always looking for a good leader and value the same things we humans do – consistency, fairness, clarity and most of all, emotional honesty or congruence. They are great barometers of that in us and can point the way to both acknowledge and have compassion for the emotions we have held back and buried, sometimes for many years.
Therefore, once Andy was honest about his state, he was liberated from the need to ‘suck it up and drive on’ that had been so much of his special forces training.
Chronic Illness and Survival States can Shift
Jane Strong told me the story of a nurse called Charles with a resting heart rate of 110 who had a stroke and had later come to their program.
Because a horse’s heart is really large, about 8 to 10 pounds, and because their resting heart rate is about 40 beats per minute whereas a human’s resting heart rate is about 72 beats per minute, she had invited him to place his hands over the horse’s heart and simply hang out there with the horse.
After a little time with the horse, Charles’ heart rate had dropped by 20 beats a minute.
Being around another person who is calm, another creature who is calm, or in the vicinity of a slower heart rate can “entrain” our own hearts and bodies to emulate that state of calm too. And, since their hearts are so big, it’s natural that we would be ‘invited’ into their electromagnetic field rather than them into ours.
The AHA! for Charles had been the discovery that his own elevated heart rate, which had caused serious symptoms and problems, could actually change. This awareness alone had enabled his nervous system to shift to a calmer state. Charles had then experienced a state of relaxation so profound that he fell asleep during the lunch break and then chose to walk all the way down the road with the horses and the rest of the group in the afternoon.
What Feelings do you Need Support With?
This process of coming into the present, and knowing what state you are in or what you are feeling, can be supported in many different ways as part of working with symptoms of a chronic physical illness or mental health condition.
Maybe it’s with horses. It could be with the company of another animal. It might be with someone who can really be present and attuned to you, as David has been with me. It could be with some form of trauma therapy or attachment work. And it is likely to change over time as you evolve and process different layers in your own system.
Explore the ways that work for you. Ways in which you can begin to feel your feelings because you feel safe enough.
Explore what helps you feel safe – whether it’s a specially trained health professional, a dear friend, an attuned partner, a four-legged family member, a walk in the woods, a workshop setting, or having a space you can call your own where you can close the door and be with yourself.
Resources
The Equus Effect:
- Newspaper article describing what they do at The Equus Effect
- Website
- The Foundation
Blog Posts with tips for Working with Symptoms
Blog Post about somatically based trauma therapies and links to find a therapist
Surveys:
- Add your Health Conditions to the Survey
- Learn your adversity score in the other Surveys
Download the Free PDF of this Blog Post
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