Update 2023 – Taking a Break
I took a break from blogging in 2022 and am continuing into 2023. This is a next step in my healing journey and I am not planning any blog posts at this time. This feels like a really good thing. Here’s why.
I continue to gradually improve a little every year from disabling fatigue I’ve experienced for a few decades, which I view as stemming from relative states of freeze. As part of my healing journey, I suspect I have now entered a phase of “thawing” and it feels like my system is shifting into states with more aliveness. This is a good direction (Yay!). It has also been intense.
As an example, I have started feeling more difficult emotions. My sense is that these are feelings from childhood that were too big for me to process at the time and which contributed to some of the shut-down that is linked to my freeze. Clamping down on overwhelming experiences is part of our nervous system’s way of surviving. These feelings are now emerging so I can begin to integrate them.
As a result, I am feeling a lot these days (grief, anger, rage, fear). Outwardly, I am doing less – no blogging, fewer interviews, no summits, less teaching etc.
Inwardly, I am “working full-time.”
Inwardly, I am practicing wu wei-ing: “Doing without Doing,” “Going Within” and doing my best to hold (and keep coming back to) curiosity to be with the feelings. And to see what life wants from me next. It’s been pretty hard work (!) as many of you who are doing similar work know first hand.
I am making space and spending time with resources (such as baking :-) and in 2022, moving to a new home and transforming our space by painting and more. This is helping and I am gradually coming into more of a sense of connection – to myself and with David. It also continues to be a remarkably intense time (learn more about this perspective with these 11 Tools and this blog post).
I still have a strong passion for the trauma and chronic illness connection. I trust this period will give me clarity about next steps. I will send you a blog post once I know more.
Here’s to finding our path in all kinds of interesting and often unexpected ways :-). Thank you for being a part of this community. It’s an honor to share this journey with you!
updated December 16, 2022
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